Send me money!
Seriously, send me money. I don't care if you use PayPal, Bitcoin, or Ethereum.
Just send it. Send it now. Just do it!
Okay, most of you may have rolled your eyes at this but NONE of you even came close to reaching for your wallet.
What's missing from this request?
That's right. It's missing a good REASON and specifics.
If I had said that I'm collecting money for the sick child of a disabled vet and I sent you a GoFundMe link, then the donation rate might increase.
What does this have to do with dating?
Everything, because most guys will try to get numbers, Facebook adds, or dates with NO reason or specifics attached.
This leads us to these six words that will help you in the world of dating:
Be the Train, Not the cab
Simple, right? But what the hell does that mean and how can it help you?
Well, as you already know, the whole process of meeting women and getting dates can be complicated and confusing.
I know from my own experience, there can be a lot of anxiety when meeting someone new and starting a dialogue that leads to a date.
Where does this anxiety come from?
It comes from the three W's:
Waiting. Wondering. Worrying.
- You wait to approach, get her number, and call
- You wonder how she'll respond to you or if she even likes you
- You worry about rejection or if you made a "mistake"
You know a great solution to all of this? That's right.
Be the train, not the cab.
Here's how it works:
Dating Like a Cab
If you stop and think for a second, how does a taxi cab relate to its passengers?
Well, one way is by going around looking for passengers and quickly changing its schedule and course to cater to the passenger.
In the taxi-passenger relationship, the passenger is in control.
Where women are concerned, your natural tendency is to be a bit nervous when asking her out for the first time.
When you're nervous, you have a fear of "messing up" when asking her out (I know. I've been there).
In order not to ruin things, you may ask her these questions:
- What days are you free this week?
- Where do you want to go?
- What do you want to do?
Just like a good cabbie, you let her decide and you put her in control.
Why Dating Like a Cab is Risky
If she barely knows you and you're trying to get her on a date, she already has a bunch of things she's unsure about.
She doesn't know you that well. She may like you and she's nervous about starting something new.
Or, she may already have met someone new and she's reluctant to get involved with anyone else.
Either way, unless you strike gold and she's in love with you from the start, she may find an excuse to not go out with you.
When you force her to set the date or make a plan, it's that much easier for her to say no or back out later on.
Also, if you are only setting up dates after having elaborate email/text exchanges or phone calls, your investment of time and emotional energy in getting dates goes way up.
Dating Like a Train
In contrast to a taxi cab, a train has a set schedule and a set route (and sticks to it regardless of the passengers' wishes).
Also, the train is most likely going to someplace more interesting than where a cab normally would go and it's going there with or without the passenger.
In the train-passenger relationship, the train is in control.
If we apply this to the world of dating, you might do any or all of the following:
- Research a great activity, restaurant, or event ahead of time
- Tell her you are "already going" and ask her if she wants to come along
- Give her a deadline to let you know if she can make it so you can "have time to ask someone else" if she can't
Why This Works So Well
Why does this work so well?
This philosophy works well because you're giving her a REASON and SPECIFICS to reconnect with you in the future.
You call, text, or email her a time, place, and fun reason to meet you out.
If she accepts, you're good to go.
If she declines, you can try the same tactic again next week or with someone else.
Either way, it's no big production on your part and you made it easy for her.
More importantly, it takes the pressure off of arranging a first or second outing (versus the typical long, drawn-out discussion about the what, where, and when of meeting up).
Are you still not convinced that making a very specific plan and simply asking her to "come along" is the best way to get a date?
Well, check out the site called HowAboutWe.com.
This site is based on the idea of getting together for a pre-decided activity or event.
There's no complicated back and forth.
There's just a casual approach that says this:
Here's something cool to do. Are you in?
The Big Bonus
As a bonus, you can safely use this method with more than one woman at a time.
If you try this with three women - offering each one a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday meet-up (respectively) - what would that do for your dating life?
You'd get way more dates, right? Of course you would.
Every single guy I know who is great with women sets up dates like this.
They have no nervousness or anxiety when inviting any woman out. If one or two can't make it, maybe the third one will.
When using this with more than one woman, you know what happens to your anxiety when setting up dates?
It evaporates into thin air.
So, until you find that special someone who makes you forget the rest, remember these six words and watch your dating life improve:
Be the train, not the cab.