Three Important Things You Should Do During a Dating Slump
Alone Again (Naturally)
Do you spend a lot of Friday and Saturday nights alone?
Are you in that place where you haven't had a girlfriend or any kind of a real date in some time?
Are you in that place where you've given up on pursuing new women altogether?
So what! Again, it's really no big deal.
The reality is, most guys have periods in their lives where they are 100% all alone.
This usually happens because something gets in the way.
It could be some kind of goal, job stress, family drama, depression after a breakup, or just basic self-doubt that makes being alone seem like the only option.
It could just be that prepping yourself and pursuing women is simply not something you're working on at the moment.
It could be that you've let yourself go (inside and out) and you see yourself in the mirror and think this:
"Ewww. What happen to you??"
If that's you, relax.
So what?! Really! It's no big deal and again, it's a normal thing for most guys at some point in their lives.
Just like this module has already stated over and over, you're normal (seriously).
No matter what caused it or what is keeping you in your dry spell, you are not alone.
Of course, a day might come when you have this thought that all guys have at some point:
"Being alone all the time and never getting laid just SUCKS!"
If you have this thought, try these three steps for sticking a fork in your dry spell:
1. Tell Your Brain to "Shut Up!"
There are many really good articles online that tell you how to end a dating dry spell.
What they often leave out is a discussion as to how guys get into dry spells.
In other words, what excuse are you telling yourself that makes being alone all the time okay?
Well, here are some common excuses:
- "I'm too busy to meet anyone right now and I'm picky."
- "I'm happy being alone because women are evil and they just wanna take your money!"
- "Once I get my life together, then I'll try to work on myself and maybe meet someone."
I know I've used at least two of these excuses, but you know what?
Excuses don't take away the pain of being alone all the time.
What excuses are good for is allowing fear and complacency to keep companionship and sex out of your life.
In fact, excuses are a like a dirty, bug-infested blanket. That is, they keep you warm, they're comforting...but still feel kinda icky.
Now, it only follows that if excuses got you to the place of being alone and unhappy...
...NOT making or accepting excuses can get you out of that place.
So, if your brain is making excuses for why you can't work on yourself, be more social, and start down that road of finding someone new, try this:
When you hear your brain making those "What's the use in trying?" excuses, tell your brain to SHUT UP!
If you're thinking about getting back into shape but the excuses start coming, don't listen to them.
If you're spending time amping up your grooming and style and thinking, "What's the use in trying?," ignore those thoughts.
If you're thinking about going out to a place and talking to new people and having doubts, ignore those doubts.
The truth is, the biggest problem with Fake News is not in the media, but in our own heads.
When you start ignoring all those naysaying internal narratives, big changes start to happen and your road to finding someone great gets WAY easier.
2. Upgrade Yourself
For us guys, a little time, effort, and money goes a long way towards maximizing our appeal to women.
We just work out a little bit, throw on a cool shirt and jeans that fit well, get a decent haircut, and we're good to go.
What do women do to feel good about themselves or to attract men?
Hair. Makeup. Shaving. Waxing. Bleaching. Manicuring. Pedicuring. Moisturizing. Tanning. Exercising. Dieting. Endless shopping and accessorizing, etc...
Yes, and all of that may happen in just a couple of days before a date!
So, remember that us guys have it WAY easier upgrading our looks than women do.
Just take a look at your body, your clothes, and your grooming and start working on improving those things today.
Just make a list, fix what you can, and don't worry about the rest.
Now, here's the kicker with this one:
When you're all alone, putting some serious effort into your appearance is dual-purpose.
First, by upgrading your appearance you're making yourself more physically attractive to women (that's obvious, right?).
Second, working on your outside is a healthy distraction.
Just think about it, if you spend time on your fitness, grooming, and style...that's less time you'll be thinking about being alone and how it sucks.
That's less time thinking about the women who ignored you and rejected you.
That's less time thinking.
Then, after a bit of time, when you're looking your best and not thinking so much, what happens?
That's right, you're starting to scratch the surface of that version of you who is attractive to a LOT of women.
3. Make the Decision to Level-Up
For a lot of guys, the simple act of deciding to no longer be alone can set this chain of events into motion:
- Guy is lonely but he decides to stop making excuses and start taking action
- Guy gets a new haircut, gets more stylish clothes, and starts exercising
- Guy stops hanging out with other fellow dateless loners (I.R.L. or online)
- Guy hangs out in more places where women hang out
- Guy signs up for a couple of dating apps
- Guy talks to more women and makes more connections
- Guy gets more dates and more sex
I can't make this any simpler.
This process of going from alone-and-miserable to hooking-up-and-happy happens all the time with guys of all ages, all incomes, and all looks levels.
So, there really is nothing innovative, revolutionary, or intimidating about any of this.
It's just a path. All you need to do is make the choice to follow this path and so it begins.
All you have to do is make the decision to upgrade yourself, learn some basic dating prep and education, and the women will follow.
Plus, now you have help with this program and with the Reboundy Rules podcast.
You have help. Help is here.